"Bad men cannot make good citizens. A vitiated state of morals, a corrupted public conscience are incompatible with freedom."
Patrick Henry
"God who gave us life gave us liberty. And can the liberties of a nation be thought secure when we have removed their only firm basis, a conviction in the minds of the people that these liberties are of the Gift of God? That they are not to be violated but with His wrath? Indeed, I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just, that His justice cannot sleep forever."
Thomas Jefferson
"In circumstances dark as these, it becomes us, as Men and Christians, to reflect that, whilst every prudent Measure should be taken to ward off the impending Judgements... All confidence must be withheld from the Means we use; and reposed only on that GOD who rules in the Armies of Heaven, and without whose Blessing the best human Counsels are but Foolishness--and all created Power Vanity...."
John Hancock
Are you at odds with family members or friends? Do you often feel as if you win—or lose—in those relationships?
Power struggles can be very destructive. Why? In every power struggle, people become instant adversaries; they take up opposing positions and try to crush their opponent.
So if squaring off with our friends and partners causes so much damage, why do we so quickly make them into adversaries? Why do we so easily jump into power struggles?
Once more, I think the reaction is rooted in fear. It is a very natural thing to feel threatened by someone who disagrees with us. We very naturally consider that our opinion or way of seeing things is the "right" or "better" way. If we didn't, we'd change our opinion or way of seeing things. So when people suggest that our way isn't right or better, we fear that they will take us someplace we don't want to go—and that creates fear.
Once we square off as adversaries, however, the outcome is already assured. We don't even have to play the game. We've already lost. Because when you're on a team, win-lose is a total illusion. There is no such thing. You have only two options: you either both win, or you both lose.
© Copyright 2003 Smalley Relationship Center
For more information on this topic read:
The Power of Spoken Words